No Hurry

I felt a sudden snap on my left hip from SK. So I stopped & tried to be mindful of my hip, did lotus and a few other postures before a long savasana.

I felt the stretch/snap and I knew it came when I tried to touch my feet in SK. But it isn’t a sharp pain, it is more of a sensation that I feel when I do forward bends. It feels like something is out of place, rather than broken, torn or injured.

Surprisingly, I didn’t feel that bad about it. I thought, “Oh, I wanted to finish my practice since I was really enjoying it, but oh well!”. I googled about it and most SK pain is on the collar bone not on the hip, so I tried to look for SI joint injuries to figure out if this is what it is. But I’m still not entirely sure.

My “injury” doesn’t hamper my normal activities but I do feel a sensation when I get up from bed, when I crouch down to wear my pants, or when I tuck my hip in. Umm, I’m limping when I go up and down the stairs too. I’m guessing that when I lengthen that muscle/ligament, that’s when I feel it.

So this morning, after much procrastinating, I practiced. It was beautiful. I was more focused because of my left hip. I took extra breaths in my forward bends and didn’t push myself. I only did until Janu A to assess how my body felt, and check how I should modify the practice. I was bummed (for a few minutes maybe) that I won’t be able to practice hang backs and might not “progress” as I expected, but also realized, I don’t need to compete, I don’t need to get new asanas. I’m fine where I am. Yes, I’m planning to travel  next week to practice with a teacher – and this might actually be a good opportunity to learn how to practice with my hip (if its still bothersome then). I might not be at my physical best when I visit, but Ashtanga is a practice, I’m not meant to be at my best all the time.

It is rather in times when I’m lazy, semi-injured, sad and emotionally unstable – that the practice really becomes a practice.

So I’ll just enjoy it a day at a time. No rush — I have my whole life to practice.

As Guruji used to say, “Why hurry?”

Mysore and my mind

Sept 16, 2016

I self-practiced ashtanga this morning.  

I felt stiff at the start – because I haven’t practiced while traveling (boo!) and my breathing isn’t as deep as it should be (my throat is still recovering and my nose are still perpetually clogged, which is always the first to give when my immune system is weak). So I only practiced until half Primary then went on to the Finishing sequence. 

But I didn’t think I’d reach until half series today. I thought I’ll do Sun Salutes and some standing poses. My mind was set that I couldn’t do it because I was still recovering but Ashtanga really surprises me. I discover more and more how I let my mind control me and make me think I know my limits – when I should just let my practice be a practice – and not set any expectation, limit or goal. 

so it just feels good to practice again.

Ashtanga habit

I’ve started an ashtanga practice for about two months now. I took a few classes in the studio and started a home practice. I felt this was my best option since I moved to the province where I wouldn’t have access to a yoga shala.

I wake up at 530am every morning to practice until half of the primary series then proceed to the backbends and finishing asanas. However,  I always felt distracted and unfocused. I would stop after each vinyasa and ‘rest’ such that a 75min practice turns into a 120min one!
—
Good thing Patrick Beach is coming to Manila! After second thoughts and lots of encouragement from a good friend,  I finally registered! Since then, I felt it was a good motivator for my practice.  I’ve been practicing more regularly and with more awareness.

I’ve also moved my practice to the evenings. I finally let go of the idea that I must always practice in the morning. Maybe one day, I’ll shift to a morning practice again but for now I’m happy.

In other news, I’ve noticed how negative I’ve been recently (or maybe I’ve always been?). I think my yoga practice has helped me become more aware of my automatic reactions to the people around me; and helped me rethink about the person I want to be.

I’m surprised at how my ashtanga practice has evolved.  I thought I’ll get bored with the same sequence everyday but I’m elated at how my practice has become a quiet and relaxing space for me. I’ve become more present in my practice. My mind doesn’t wander as much and I don’t feel as attached when I can’t kick to a pincha mayurasana.

Morning Practice

This year, I tried a new yoga studio near our place.

It didn’t feel right that I was rushing out of the office last year for my yoga practice. I couldn’t really concentrate on my work and didn’t sit right with my work ethics. So this year, I’m shifting to a morning yoga practice! My first yoga studio was just closer to my work and wasn’t really time and commuter convenient – so I’m shifting to this closer yoga studio.

It’s been a slower practice this year. The focus of UAM has been more on correct alignment than in fun poses and challenging sessions of BY. So I do miss that. I haven’t been able to do back to back classes as I often did in BY but now at least I get to go home early and don’t feel rushed in the office.

So overall, I feel I’ve reached a more stable phase in my yoga practice; and more balance in my life (family, friends, yoga and work). It does feel great to start the day with practice; and the knowledge that I’ve already accomplished something for the day even before I get to the office.

Achievements: CSC exam and Yoga practice

July 10, 2013.

The day I learned that I passed the civil service exam. Yes folks! I can now apply for a regular government employee position. Hurrah to me!

Since the list of passers was posted on the office bulletin, people kept congratulating me (and the others who passed as well). I’m happy that I passed. But I can’t help but be more excited about my yoga practice later that day. I kept thinking of doing a back-to-back Vinyasa and Power yoga sessions.

When I was on the mat later that day, I was super elated! I couldn’t do all the poses properly in Vinyasa but I could feel my progress and my strength improving! In Power Yoga, I couldn’t do several of the asanas but I was still so elated just being on the mat and trying! I was just so proud of myself for making time for my yoga practice and myself.

In contrast, I think the CSC exam was more of a relief than an achievement. My yoga practice is a far from perfect (I couldn’t do a proper forward bend, for pete’s sake!) yet I feel that showing up regularly on the mat is my real achievement.

So I celebrated by getting a one month unlimited package in my wonderful shala!

Discovering Yoga

I was so stressed last week from work. A big regional meeting is coming up and I coordinate everything and anything related to that. To begin with, this is the part that I like least about my job. I’m elated at the data analysis part, the regression tasks and strategy discussion, even the presentations I am asked to do sometimes – but coordination work really isn’t for me. I’m such a control freak that I hate depending on the people or agencies I coordinate with. The only icing on the cake was that I get to go to the meeting (which is held abroad). BUT, suddenly the administration says only regular employees can go. Thank you very much. Being the only person who constantly coordinated with these institutions, I had to transfer a year-long knowledge and history to the team who will be going. Nice.

Good thing, I discovered a yoga studio last week! M has been inviting me since last month to practice yoga with her. I was stressed and felt I needed a break so I said yes. And was I glad, I did. We took a Vinyasa class that day, then I came back for a Yin yoga class the day after. I’ve been practicing on and off for the past two months using downloaded yoga clips. A studio class practice however really pushes your limits; plus the teachers are great! I feel I’m in touch with my body better. I am more aware of my limitations and strengths. I found out that my lower back is really curved, my legs are not so strong and I have to practice on my balance.

This week, I’ve been to two classes already. My body is sore everyday but I feel so good and so alive. I am proud that I’m making an effort to make this part of my routine. I even took a one week unlimited package and if all goes well, I might take a one month unlimited package next week. I want to keep my momentum going.

Whenever I have a down time(usually when I’m on my way to work or back to the house), I used to always think about my life and if I’m living it the way I want to. It’s kind of depressing, really. Because I only think about what I want to do, plan what I want to do, then you’ll find me thinking and wanting the same thing in a month – therefore, depressing.

Well today, I noticed I don’t do that anymore. I’m just so excited about the day because I’ll get to practice yoga! I feel I took a step outside my introvert comfort zone – that I’m making this conscious decision in my life to improve myself.

I’m already thankful that I don’t get to go to that regional meeting so I can give time to myself through yoga.