I’m practicing with AE this week. And it’s intense. I’ve been doing a lot of backbends before I do finishing.
In class, I’m usually one of the beginners. Most of the yogis practicing there are on Intermediate series. So it was just a few people doing Primary series. And I have so much respect for these people’s dedication and discipline to the practice.
And as I was struggling on my mat, I noticed that everyone is also struggling. That sounds awful – but I mean it in a beautiful and inspiring way. Their practices are advanced but they also struggle – some are afraid of what they need to do, but still practice, some get tired and rest, some are aching all over but still practice. It’s just inspiring that all these people are also putting so much commitment to the practice. More than them doing these mind blowing asanas, they were just practicing – and that’s inspiring.
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I remember when I was just so afraid of dropbacks. I felt anxious everytime I had to do it. I took long breaks and did long pep talks to myself before my next backbend. But doing it regularly, I realized I was starting to analyze what I need to do, more than being anxious. I was starting to analyze what worked for me and what didn’t. What the teacher told me months before and how it now makes more sense. Then I just practiced hanging back on walls whenever I felt tired at work and whenever I needed a break (it can be relaxing!) Then one day, I decided to dropback. And today, I stood up! I feel like I can do anything now.
I imagine I will find something I’m afraid of pretty soon. and Ashtanga will just keep on teaching me to recognize that fear, to understand it, to face it everyday, and trust that one day, I’ll conquer it. Over and over again.
Much like the inspiring yogis I get to practice with this week.
SpaghettiCorner 