I feel like I’m on a tipping point with food.
I realize most of my earliest posts were about food. Good food made/makes me happy. Trying out new restaurants and dishes was a bonding experience for me and my sister. Food was/is always part of travel. I would search what to eat whenever we travel and hunt for restaurants, street markets and dishes or snacks to try. As Jonathan Safran Foer explains food is part of the stories we tell ourselves (Yup, I read “Eating Animals” by the same author).
And I guess the story I’m creating for myself is changing – and thus it also changes the story others see in and create with me .
I’ve always liked eating vegetables because its healthy and tastes good. But that’s it. Growing up, I strive to be the person who doesn’t give anyone any trouble (even food troubles). So whenever I go out with friends or family, and they ask, “what do you want to eat?” my default (and sometimes frustrating) answer has always been “anything” because I can eat anything. I valued pleasing others rather than imposing my wants (also because it is difficult to choose once I do try to think of what i really want).
My recent Yoga teacher training made me realize that I should care. They didn’t lecture or harp on it. It was so briefly touched but the daily vegetarian meals did have an effect on me. I read Foer on my own volition. And I was struck that I never thought of those animals on my plate. I knew they were animals and I knew the farm factories are not perfect and I just “forget” about it each time I ate!
I remember once we (my family) heard this awful sound from our neighbors and realized it was a pig screaming. We peeked from our windows and saw this huge pig with its legs tied to a wooden rod held off the ground. They were draining the blood from the pig and it won’t stop screaming. It was disturbing. It was around 20-30 meters from us and it won’t stop crying. It was around lunch time and we were supposed to eat – and on the dining table was pork! I was conflicted that day and didn’t want to eat. When you hear a pig helplessly crying from agony while you are on a table with your family, saying grace and thanks for the meal you are about to eat, it is just wrong.
But that didn’t turn me vegan. When the pig finally stopped crying, I just forgot about it again. But it must have planted seeds in me. More seeds later, and years of yoga practice must have gotten to me. And I realize that I want to be more ethically conscious and responsible rather than socially acceptable and pleasing. That I don’t need to satisfy my taste buds all the time. That killing an animal so that I can eat something satisfying and yummy isn’t right. That I can lead a healthy life without causing daily suffering to another living being.
And suddenly I am transitioning. I’m eating less and less meat. I’m learning about chia seeds, flaxseeds, quinoa, lentils, chickpeas, nuts, oats and cereals!
Growing up as a meat eater, surrounded by family and friends who are meat eaters, it has been difficult. Difficult because I know my family is adjusting around me. My sister now chooses restaurants with vegetarian options when I’m with her. My sibs see me setting aside small bits of meat in the shared veggie dishes. I’m slowly becoming a troublesome eater (and a source of worry for my mother). Sometimes, a meat dish that my mom & I used to enjoy is on the table, and I’m sad that I can’t partake, eat and share moments like that with her anymore. There are subtle changes being made in the relationships around me because of my food choices.
I am still happy with good food. I still like tasty and delicious food (who doesn’t?) but now I like them without meat. I can still bond with friends and family over food – but I just eat differently.
I realize that taste is something I can easily let go. It is the relationships around me that are subtly affected and evolving that bother me more. The challenge for me now is to embrace my evolving story as a “troublesome” eater; to accept the loss of certain experiences & traditions; and creating new stories and relationships built around our collective food choices.
SpaghettiCorner 